The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Inducts Disco Blogger in the 'Fawning Lackey' Category

It all started when I posted the following piece: The Rock and Roll Hall of Shame, or The Crock and Faux Hall of Disco, Soul and Rap, which questioned the very nature of how artists, and particularly non-rock artists, are inducted into an 'alleged' Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, yet have literally nothing to do with rock, and were never considered rock musicians/performers during their careers; while, at the same time, whole genres of rock are routinely ignored in the induction process. This obviously did not sit well with a few sycophants, brown-nosers and bootlickers who naturally came to defend the status quo. For instance, I received this comment from a certain Tom Lane:

"This has to be one of the stupidest Rock Hall posts ever written.
Uriah Heep, Supertramp, Rainbow, Harry Chapin, Humble Pie and some of the other laughable bands named that you want inducted had me thinking this whole post was satire. It was, right. Humble Pie!!"

I rebutted his rather callow commentary with a comment of my own, pointing out that he failed to read the piece in total (reading comprehension is a lost art, it seems), and that I had chosen six bands (Alice Cooper, Rush, King Crimson, Jethro Tull, The Moody Blues and Yes) as examples of bands that have been totally and inexcusably ignored for induction, while performers like The Bee Gees and ABBA are inducted with apparent glee. Then at the end of my post I listed another 35-40 rock bands that did not have the obvious 'rock star' status that these sterling examples of rock and roll had: The Four Seasons, LaVern Baker, Martha and the Vandellas, Dusty Springfield, Solomon Burke, and Earth, Wind & Fire (all RRHoF inductes). Do you see the irony? Stevie Ray Vaughan and Deep Purple are not in the ROCK AND ROLL HALL but Solomon Burke and Martha and the Vandellas are -- even though they were never, ever considered rock-and-roll artists during their careers.

Needless to say, I let it go after the rebuttal, as it was obvious Tom Lane had some warped agenda to replace Jimi Hendrix's Strat with mirrored disco balls and polyester leisure suits as Hall exhibits. To each his own. That was until a kind reader pointed out that Tom Lane decided to attack again, actually posting this on his blog Most Ignorant Rock Hall Rant Ever?, wherein he continues to ignore the gist of the essay (the six bands who deserve induction), and instead continues to bitch and moan about the list of 40 artists that ended the piece. By the way, here is that list:

Boston
Blue Oyster Cult
Canned Heat
The Cars
Harry Chapin
Chicago
Joe Cocker
Jim Croce
Dick Dale
Deep Purple
Dire Straits
Donovan
The Doobie Brothers
Electric Light Orchestra
Emerson, Lake & Palmer
Fairport Convention
Foghat
J. Geils Band
Peter Gabriel (solo career)
The Guess Who
Ian Hunter (solo career)
Humble Pie
Carole King
KISS
John Mayall and the Bluesbreakers
Jefferson Airplane/Starship
Mott the Hoople
MC5
The Pogues
Procol Harum
Roxy Music
Steppenwolf
Cat Stevens
Rainbow
Red Hot Chili Peppers
Supertramp
T-Rex
Uriah Heep
Stevie Ray Vaughan
Warren Zevon

Now, from a rock-and-roll standpoint, wouldn't you think that this list represents a great cross-section of rock bands and performers? Couldn't you choose 10, 20, even 30 bands that deserve immediate induction from that list and an apology from the Hall for not putting them in sooner? Why does Tom Lane have such a hard-on about certain bands I placed on the list? If one had actually read my piece (again, that reading comprehension thing), it is quite clear I never said that all these bands deserved induction, rather, that non-rock performers were inducted that took precedence over them and they weren't even considered. Rock performers ignored, non-rock performers inducted. I naturally assumed any imbecile would catch that; unfortunately, some dolts are wading so low in the gene pool that they may well drown in a teaspoonful of common sense.

Now, to Tom Lane's agenda. Going through his several lists of favorites for Hall of Fame induction, I found several questionable, if not downright laughably pathetic, selections. It makes one wonder if Mr. Lane should even be commenting on rock-and-roll at all:

The Commodores
Hall and Oates
Kool and the Gang
Teddy Pendergrass
The Stylistics
Barry White
Donna Summer
The Spinners

Barry White? Donna Summer? What exactly do these performer have to do with rock-and-roll, Mr. Lane? Have you ever heard anyone say "Man, The Stylistics really rock!" What next, Mr. Lane? KC & The Sunshine Band or The Village People? I assume you weren't at Chicago's Comiskey Park on 'Disco Demolition Night' in 1979 when thousands of rock fans were setting fire to disco albums. Were you too busy prepping for a 'Tony Manero Look-alike Contest' at a New York 'Saturday Night Fever Appreciation Day'?

Again, let's drop the pretext of having a Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and merely have a Popular Music Hall of Fame if Tom Lane and his sorry, stultified ilk continue to frantically wave their disco balls for these non-rock entities. As I stated previously, it all has to do with selling tickets and homogenizing the process to such an extent that rap and disco are suddenly genres of rock-and-roll. But they aren't. The only reason they are there is so that the Hall can draw from a larger pool to bring in more money. It has nothing to do with music, and certainly not rock music. It has everything to do with the music industry promoting whatever flavor of the month it wishes to foist on the listening public.

Strange Fruit: The Politics of Protest Songs

Southern trees bear strange fruit,
Blood on the leaves and blood at the root,
Black bodies swinging in the southern breeze,
Strange fruit hanging from the poplar trees.

A stanza from "Strange Fruit" by Allen and Mellow

Strange Fruit as sung by Billie Holiday

What strikes me most about this haunting, horrific song is that Billie Holiday closed each of her shows with it...back in 1939! That is what I call fortitude in the face of the enemy, particularly since Ms. Holiday began singing to predominantly white audiences by that period of here career. But because many listeners prefer the tune and the delivery of a song as opposed to what is actually being stated in the lyrics, the dire message of 'Strange Fruit' often went right over the heads of her naive pre-WWII audiences, a fact noted by Billie Holiday herself in an interview near the end of her life, when she sadly opined, "They'll ask me to 'sing that sexy song about the people swinging'." Of course, Holiday wasn't referring to Ella Fitzgerald's scat: "It don't mean a thing if it ain't got that swing"; but people often equate their own meanings and context to words, and lyrics in particular. My brother used to sing "Slow Cousin Walter" as the refrain to the song "Smoke on the Water".

But there are very few songs that resonate so deeply with me and cause such a feeling of revulsion and regret as Strange Fruit. I don't know why I feel regret, because my family never lived in the South; but it must be some ingrained response within American Caucasians, even those Caucasians, like me, whose grandparents got off the boat at Ellis Island and were too busy ekeing out a meager existence during the Great Depression than to indulge in violent, systemic racism (who had such inordinate amounts of time to waste?). Or perhaps it has something to do with the Catholic guilt I still harbor, even though I have abandoned that medieval, misogynistic museum of patriarchal relics and dogmatic oddities decades ago. Therefore, since I was already in a state of rueful melancholy, this got me to thinking about songs in general, and then protest songs in particular. Naturally, this caused -- as these things usually do -- the labyrinthine vaults of useless information stored in the recesses of my brain to disembogue a veritable flood of songs, which gushed over my memory banks and floated about, like so much flotsam and jetsam, in the cluttered corridors of my cramped cranium. And since I was already pondering the subject, what more appropriate way to rid myself of depressing thoughts than share my misery with the rest of you? Sharing is caring, after all.

And rather than belaboring the point by offering a long, winding (and long-winded) narrative history of the protest song from William Blake's "Dark, Satanic mills," to Joan Baez's "Drugstore truck drivin' man" (in honor of Ronald "Ray-guns"), I thought it would be better to just let the songs speak for themselves. And I would just comment. A little. Not too much though. Starting now.

The Star-Spangled Banner by Jimi Hendrix
-- An eloquently stated protest without saying a word. In this most famous version of the 'National Anthem', the message is relayed via Hendrix's artistry at coaxing the sounds of war from his axe: machine guns, explosions, dive bombers, shrieks and moans. Juxtaposing a violent aural assault atop the Anthem speaks volumes regarding the anti-war sentiment of the time, perhaps even more so than Hendrix's Machine Gun from the 'Band of Gypsies' album.

Sunday, Bloody Sunday by U2
-- This rousing, martial U2 song from the album 'War' recalls the 1972 'Bogside Massacre' in the Northern Ireland city of Derry, where British soldiers opened fire on unarmed civil rights protesters and bystanders, killing at least 17 people, five of whom were shot in the back. The passion and outrage is evident in Bono's vocals on this, the most overtly political of all U2 songs.

Biko by Peter Gabriel
-- Steven Biko was a leader of the anti-apartheid movement in South Africa. In 1977, Biko was arrested on trumped up charges under a South African terrorism act (basically, he was arrested for protesting while black). He was beaten so badly during a police interrogation that lasted over 24 hours, that he lapsed into a coma. He died within days due lack of medical care (the police would later claim he committed suicide). As is the way of injustice, the police were cleared of the crime by the South African courts. But the horrid event gained worldwide attention, and Peter Gabriel's stirring anthem, one which he sang to end each of his concerts, is one of the most powerful protests songs of the 80's and a catalyst for change in South Africa. From an anti-apartheid standpoint, it certainly has a more emotional punch than the tepid 'I Aint Gonna Play (Sun City)' by Little Steven and his coterie of 'We Are The World' rejects.

What's Going On by Marvin Gaye
-- Not only is this an important protest song, it is one of the finest soul songs ever crafted. Motown mogul Berry Gordy had refused to release the song on the grounds that it was politically objectionable (even after Edwin Starr had released the song 'War'), but Marvin Gaye stuck to his guns, and after near eight months of wrangling, Gordy finally relented. Like Holiday's 'Strange Fruit', Gaye's delivery of 'What's Going On' gives the song a deceptive, soulful air that belies its social commentary about the Vietnam war, drug addiction and abject poverty.

This Land is Your Land by Woody Guthrie
-- In response to Irving Berlin's ultra-patriotic 'God Bless America', an irritated Woody Guthrie composed a simple but stunning folk song which subtly reminds those in power that America is owned by the People and not the institutions that are caretakers for the People. The song has been adopted across the world, and many recorded variations refer to the specific artists' countries of origin.

Blowin' in the Wind by Peter, Paul & Mary
-- Naturally, SONY CORP. has banned any studio versions of the Bob Dylan original, but this Peter, Paul & Mary cover is earnestly sung and was a hit for the group. 'Blowin in the Wind' has become the 'Kumbayah' of protest songs, blithely sung around the campfire without context or thought of the powerful poetry contained therein. Oh well, pass me a smore, please.

Imagine by John Lennon
-- The only anti-nationalistic, anti-religious, anti-capitalistic song of nihilistic deconstruction which is also one of the "100 most-performed of the 20th century" (according to BMI), and which is blithely hummed by right-wing fascists, religious fanatics, and corporate raiders around the world, with nary a thought to the song's meaning. This makes this Lennon song even more satisfying.

Masters of War by Bob Dylan
-- I finally found a Bob Dylan original. Let's see how long it takes SONY CORP. to remove it from the Internet. Ironic, isn't it, that one of the most important protest songs of the 20th century, one that speaks out against the corporate sponsorship of military aggression, should be stifled by corporate greed.

Update: Well, it's obvious and infinitely ironic that profit is more important than the message of this song. Here's a version by Eddie Vedder and Pearl Jam.

Culloden's Harvest by Déanta
-- Culloden was the site of a battle in 1745 which pitted 'Bonnie Prince Charlie' and 3000 blindly loyal Scottish Highlanders armed with muskets and swords against a well-armed British army of 10,000 with cannons. The result is what usually happens when bravery and patriotism faces superior numbers and firepower: within an hour, 2000 Highlanders lay dead and the hopes of Scottish independence was erased forever. Déanta, a Northern Irish traditional band, sings an impassioned version of the song, which is told from the point of view of the wailing widows and orphans left destitute after they were driven from their homes by the victorious invaders.

Eve of Destruction by Barry McGuire
-- For a song written in 1965 by P.F. Sloan and sung by Barry McGuire, 'Eve of Destruction' shows quite vividly that absolutely nothing has changed in our society or elsewhere. The Eastern World is still exploding, there are still bodies floating in the Jordan River, and a handful of senators still don't pass legislation.

Sky Pilot by The Animals
-- Another song protesting the Vietnam War. This time, Eric Burdon and the Animals refer to the hypocrisy of religion, as a chaplain blesses soldiers who are about to go out and die. The padre reminds them of their duty to god and country, and then goes to take a nap, exhausted by the unctuous exertions of his own holiness.

For What It's Worth by Buffalo Springfield
Ohio by Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young
Southern Man by Neil Young
To the Last Whale by Crosby & Nash
-- Somehow, Steven Stills, David Crosby, Graham Nash and Neil Young became the self-anointed, aggregate social-conscience of rock during the 1960's. This occurred in conjunction with Bob Dylan abdicating his throne after pissing off all the dyed-in-the-wool folkies for daring to play an electric guitar at the Newport Folk Festival. In combination or solo, CSN and sometimes Y (just like vowels) offered some muddled hippie indignance ('Almost Cut My Hair'), misguided odes to infidelity ('Love the One You're With') and overgrandizations of personal travails ('Immigration Man'), but the four songs I have emphasized hit their marks with unerring power and clarity. The most poignant of the four is 'To the Last Whale', because, after all, don't we as a society get more upset when animals are being slaughtered than when humans are in danger?

Fortunate Son by Creedence Clearwater Revival
-- John Fogerty vocalized what most American draftees felt in 1969. The Vietnam Conflict was a war fought by the 'have-nots', while the 'haves' (or 'fortunate sons') had their military service deferred while they went to college or, through their family connections, got plumb commissions in the Air National Guard (like George W. Bush) or the Naval Reserve (like David Eisenhower, grandson of Dwight Eisenhower and son-in-law of Richard Nixon, who the song is directly referring to).

The Sound of Silence by Simon & Garfunkel
Scarborough Fair/Canticle by Simon & Garfunkel
-- 'The Sound of Silence' was written in the wake of John F. Kennedy's assassination. The song and the album it first appeared on, 'Wednesday Morning, 3 AM', were a flop, and Simon and Garfunkel ended their affiliation. But then, a funny thing happened. A producer at Columbia Records thought enough of the song to dub electric guitar, bass and drums on what was originally an acoustic song and rereleased it without the knowledge of Paul and Art. It went to number one and the duo reunited. In regards to 'Scarborough Fair/Canticle', it is actually two songs: an English ballad that can be traced back to at least the 17th century (the part sang mainly by Garfunkel), and an anti-war song sung in counterpoint by Simon. The juxtaposition of the pastoral "parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme" with "generals order their soldiers to kill", followed by "and to gather it all in a bunch of heather" with "and to fight for a cause they've long ago forgotten" is a brilliant bit of songsmithing.

War by Edwin Starr
-- Nowadays, it's difficult to think of this song without recalling Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker's hilarious harmonizing in "Rush Hour', but the 1970 version by Edwin Starr went to #1 and was the biggest hit of Starr's career (a previous version by The Temptations in 1969 was not released as a single). Starr's musical genre was known as 'psychedelic soul'(which also included Sly and the Family Stone and The Temptations), an arcane term that at first seems bizarre, but it eventually morphed into 'funk' which, I suppose, is a bit more familiar sounding to current listeners.

Uncle Remus by Frank Zappa
-- An incredibly sly attack on racism. The lyrics, although witty, hit their intended target with the force of a pimp-slap upside the head. Of course, the allusion to Uncle Remus is self-evident, and the mention of spraying with hoses recalls the crowd control during the 60's civil rights marches. The best lines of all are "I'll take a drive to Beverly Hills/Just before dawn/ An' knock the little jockeys/ Off the rich people's lawn..."

Behind the Wall by Tracy Chapman
-- A chilling and intense song about domestic abuse sung in a capella by Tracy Chapman. It recounts a person listening to a husband and wife fighting night after night on the other side of a wall in an apartment building. The narrator seems to have become almost immune to the constant battering, bemoaning that "it don't do no good to call the police, always come late if they come at all." This song and other stellar songs from Chapman's debut album, like 'Fast Car' and Talkin' 'Bout a Revolution, presented a powerful, feminine social conscience in the music industry that was nearly absent in the big-haired, banal 80's.

Streets of Sorrow/Birmingham Six by The Pogues
-- A political song from one of the best albums of the 80's, 'If I Should Fall From Grace With God', 'Streets of Sorrow' details Northern Ireland during the time of 'The Troubles' and is sung by Pogue Terry Wood, while 'The Birmingham Six' is sung by drunken poet extraordinaire Shane MacGowan and tells of the plight of the 'Birmingham Six' and the 'Guildford Four' who were unjustly arrested and framed for murder and terrorism. The song was banned by Britain's Independent Broadcasting Authority, until the two groups' convictions were overturned and Prime Minister Tony Blair offered a public apology. You may recognize the story of the Guildford Four if you've ever seen Daniel Day-Lewis in the Oscar nominated 'In the Name of the Father'.

Another Brick in the Wall Parts 1,2 & 3 by Pink Floyd
-- A song so dangerous to the Establishment that it was banned in South Africa prior to the fall of Apartheid. The song and the album 'The Wall' were prohibited by the South African government in 1980 when the song was adopted by a nationwide group boycotting schools in protest of the inherent inequality of the education system. The ban has lapsed, but it has never been officially repealed.

Luka by Suzanne Vega
-- One of the first songs to address child abuse from the point of view of the child, tells the story of 'Luka' who makes excuses and lives a life of denial, which is often a coping strategy for the abused. This song came out in 1987, but Pat Benatar released the fiery Hell is for Children in 1980. Because of her commitment to stopping abuse, Ms. Benatar started a foundation for abused children.

No Man's Land/Flowers of the Forest by June Tabor
-- I had originally thought this version of the Eric Bogle composition was done by Sandy Denny of Fairport Convention. I always liked it, but never could find a copy. Well, after some laborious research and many dead ends regarding Sandy Denny, I finally discovered it was actually sung by June Tabor, a noted singer in British folk/traditional circles. Sorry, Ms Tabor. The recording can be found in a stellar Green Linnet compilation of trad songs from all across the British Isles. In any case, the song 'No Man's Land' (sometimes titled 'The Green Fields of France') concerns a narrator who contemplates the senselessness of war at the graveside of Willie McBride, who died at the age of 19 during WWI.

Redemption Song by Bob Marley
Get Up, Stand Up by Bob Marley
-- Two different politically-charged tunes by Marley that deal with racism, repression and religion (in the case of 'Get Up'). The composition 'Redemption Song' is particularly striking, as Marley had already been diagnosed with cancer and was in a reflective mood about life. He deals with two aspects of slavery here: the physical and the mental, and then freeing oneself from those yokes. Some of the lines of the song were borrowed from a speech given by Marcus Garvey, an early 20th century Pan-African and national hero of Jamaica.

I Aint Marching Anymore by Phil Ochs
-- This song had a huge impact on the anti-war movement of the early 60's, and it certainly is stirring. But as Ochs recounts the different wars he has fought in (he as a narrator, speaking for each generation): the Battle of New Orleans, the Mexican-American War, the Civil War, The Indian Wars, WWI and WWII, each followed with the line "But I ain't marching anymore", I wonder what took him so long to actually stop marching.

Zombie by The Cranberries
-- Perhaps the addition of the arresting video makes this Cranberry song special. When Dolores O'Riordan utters the line, "It's the same old theme since nineteen-sixteen," she is referring to the Irish Easter Rebellion of 1916, and the fact that Irish rebels and the British Army kept up a near continuous battle in Northern Ireland for nearly 70 years thereafter. The final shot of the dead boy merely heightens the frustration over escalating sectarian violence.

It's the End of the World as We Know It by REM
-- Not necessarily a protest song, per se, but it is indicative of the way I feel after writing this piece.

The Rock and Roll Hall of Shame, or The Crock and Faux Hall of Disco, Soul and Rap

Here is a little trivia game I have devised. It starts with a series of trick questions that you probably already know the answers to (as well as where I am going with this line of questioning).

Question #1: What do these six recording artists/bands have in common:
ABBA
The Bee Gees
Grandmaster Flash
The Jackson Five
Madonna
Run-DMC

Answer: They have all been inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

Question #2: What do these six recording artists/bands have in common:
Alice Cooper
King Crimson
Jethro Tull
The Moody Blues
Rush
Yes

Answer: They have not been inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

Question #3: Which set of six artists/bands would you consider as great (or even good) rock bands/artists:

Set #1 -- ABBA, The Bee Gees, Grandmaster Flash, The Jackson Five, Madonna, Run-DMC

Set #2 -- Alice Cooper, King Crimson, Jethro Tull, The Moody Blues, Rush, Yes

If you chose set #1 as a list of great rock artists, congratulations! you are qualified to be one of the muddled revisionists who vote for inductees in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, located in Cleveland, Ohio (the nonexistent and wholly mythical capital of rock-and-roll). As a parting gift for playing our trivia game, here is your Rock-and-Roll gift bag, which contains a DVD of the movie Mamma Mia, a CD of the soundtrack to Saturday Night Fever, an alarm clock autographed by Flavor Flav, a patch of Madonna's pubic hair and Michael Jackson's spare nose.

I don't get it. I just don't get it. As an avid fan of rock-and-roll for more years than I wish to recount, I was always sure what music was considered rock-and-roll, and what was not. Certainly, rock-and-roll is an amalgam of different musical genres, such as blues, country, folk, R&B, jazz and even classical, but I always knew what artist fit where. For instance: Willie Dixon was a legendary blues man and Led Zeppelin were not, they were a rock band that played some Willie Dixon blues tunes; Mussorgsky was a classical composer and Emerson, Lake & Palmer were not, they were a rock band who covered Mussorgsky's Pictures at an Exhibition; Al Green is a great soul singer and The Talking Heads were a rock band who covered Green's Take Me to the River. But in these days of stilted political correctness, rampant revisionism and wholesale homogenization, everything is now rock-and-roll, and what I once thought was rock-and-roll is no longer even considered in the same musical equation.

Please allow me to elucidate.

The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is a sham. Was that statement too equivocal? Did I stutter? Do I need to be clearer? All right then, The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is a canard, a fabrication, and those who control the nomination process have an obvious agenda. It is a publicist's idea of a good marketing scam. It is a manipulative ploy by elements of the recording industry to validate and sell certain types of music. It neither perpetuates good music and good musicianship, nor the elements of rebelliousness that once were what rock-and-roll was all about. It is a selection process that sells table space at $25,000 a shot. Put simply, it is a joke.

My primary irritation with the selection process for this Rock-and-Faux Hall of Lame is that there are many artists inducted who simply have nothing to do with rock-and-roll, or at best have a vestigial association with the genre, whereas a sizable segment of what any musician or casual listener would consider actual 'rock music' is utterly and completely ignored. First, I must say it makes perfect sense that there is an inductee section for 'Early Influences', a category reserved for performers who shaped rock-and-roll, but who were not what would be considered rock 'n' rollers. That way, we can honor influential artists such as hall-of-fame inductees Robert Johnson, Howlin' Wolf, Pete Seeger, Les Paul, Woody Guthrie, Bessie Smith, Billie Holiday, etc., and recognize their extraordinary musical achievements. And although they deserve inclusion into such an august body, they are, nonetheless, separate from rock, particularly considering many of the folk in the 'Early Influences' category would have either never heard of the term 'rock' in their lifetimes, or would not have considered themselves, even remotely, as 'rock stars'. The problem then arises when the Hall inducts non-rock-and-roll artists into the 'Performer' category, and by inclusion indicates that the music these artists perform is rock-and-roll.

This none-too-subtle machination by the Hall of Fame is a smarmy but mendacious bit of all-inclusiveness that has nothing to do with what the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame website alludes to as their principal voting agenda: "Criteria include the influence and significance of the artists’ contributions to the development and perpetuation of rock and roll." If that is the case, what influence has a pop band like ABBA had on rock and roll, except to instill other bland facsimiles with tepid pop tunes like The Ace of Base? It was ironically appropriate that Barry and Robin Gibb of The Bee Gees presented ABBA's induction into the Hall, because they have no business being in the Hall either. Face it, without disco music, The Bee Gees were a washed up and irrelevant 60's band. Their popularity had nothing to do with rock-and-roll, but with John Travolta pertly prancing in a polyester suit under the diffuse light of a mirrored disco ball.

Additionally, Motown acts such as The Supremes, The Temptations, The Four Tops and Smokey Robinson, The Jackson Five and Gladys Knight and the Pips, although stellar artists of the soul and R&B genres, just aren't rock-and-roll by any stretch of the imagination; yet there they are -- all Hall of Fame inductees. And don't get me started on Rap music. Rap and its illegitimate progeny 'house music' and 'hip-hop' were never and are not rock music. This genre of 'music' (and I use the term in the broadest possible sense), did not rise, historically speaking, from the rock form, nor does it maintain a sense of rock music on a consistent basis. It may have occasionally grafted elements of rock into its recording process (hip-hop artists will sequence any bit of music into their songs, rather than composing their own), and bands like Run/DMC, Eminem and Kid Rock have incorporated both rock and rap into their performances; however, if one were to have a sentient dialogue regarding music, rock and rap would certainly be separate topics of discussion.

If one were to take the argument to its most illogical and over-the-top conclusion, then according to how the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame chooses its inductees, Bach, Beethoven, Stravinsky, Wagner, Mozart, Liszt, Grieg and other classical composers should all be inducted as 'Early Influences', because countless rock bands (including Hall of Fame inductees Chuck Berry, The Beatles, Pink Floyd, Genesis, The Velvet Underground, Stevie Wonder, Queen, Frank Zappa, Jeff Beck, Eric Clapton, Jimi Hendrix, Led Zeppelin and U2) owe just as much to Johann Sebastian, Wolfgang and Ludwig as they do to T-bone, Sonny Boy and Muddy. Then, they should select Paderewski, Van Cliburn, Itzhak Perlman and Segovia as rock performers. You might as well throw in Irving Berlin, John Phillip Sousa, Stephen Foster, Liberace, Robert Burns, and Henry VIII (a noted composer during his reign). Am I being ridiculous? Actually, not really. How can R&B, soul and rap acts warrant inclusion in this alleged 'Rock and Roll Hall of Fame', but classical musicians are not? Or country musicians, for that matter? They've already inducted Johnny Cash and Chet Atkins. I suggest they induct Kenny Rogers immediately! Like the Bee Gees, he had failed in rock circles after his band, The First Edition, folded. But he had a few psychedelic hits in the 60's -- such as Just Dropped In (To See What Condition My Condition Was In) -- and like the Brothers Gibb he made it big in another music genre. Doesn't 'The Gambler' deserve to be included too? No, he doesn't. I was speaking rhetorically.

Which brings me to the six rock bands I referred to in my snarky trivia game at the beginning of this prolix diatribe. There is no getting around it, the supposed 'Rock and Roll Hall of Fame' hates hard rock music of the 1970's in general, and progressive rock in particular. Except for a few notable super groups and artists like Zeppelin, Floyd, Bowie, Elton John, Black Sabbath, Queen and, most recently, Genesis, the Hall seemed to skip right over the 70's, going from psychedelia and protest songs to punk and power pop. What is it about superlative musical ability, meticulously crafted compositions, witty or enlightening lyrics and enormously entertaining concerts that this purported 'Hall of Fame' despises? It's not that these bands lacked a significant following; on the contrary, except for one notable exception (King Crimson, which I will expand and expound upon shortly) these bands had consecutive albums in the top ten, their concerts were among the highest grossers, and their music continues to be played daily across the world -- in some cases, more than 40 years after their songs' initial release. You can't point to lack of album sales for the Hall's intentional snobbery and snubbery:

Alice Cooper -- Over 50 million albums sold worldwide
Jethro Tull -- Over 60 million albums sold worldwide
The Moody Blues -- Over 50 million albums sold worldwide
Rush -- Over 40 million albums sold worldwide
Yes -- Over 30 million albums sold worldwide

Nor can you deny their influence and continuing mass appeal. Here is a resume of each band, offered for review to the five-hundred alleged 'rock experts' who vote for the Hall of Fame -- and, more importantly, the 'Star Chamber' committee that sits in judgment of the selection process -- in hopes they will see the fundamental errors in judgement they have collectively heaped upon the tarnished institution for which they continue to bungle, botch and bollix-up. Not that I expect any epiphanic reconsideration from such an inept group of cynical product-pushers. But one can hope, even when such hope amounts to pigs having wings and monkeys flying out of one's buttocks.

ALICE COOPER
Would there be a Marilyn Manson or MTV videos without the pioneering theatrical work of Alice Cooper? In fact, isn't Marilyn Manson just a tarted-up version of Alice for a new generation? And then there are the other bands who name Alice as an important influence: KISS, Twisted Sister, Rob Zombie, Megadeth, The Flaming Lips and the Sex Pistols (John 'Johnny Rotten' Lydon named the Cooper release Killer as the greatest album of all time). With such legendary songs of teenage rebellion and angst as I'm Eighteen and School's Out, and platinum platters of hard rock like Love It to Death, Killer, Billion Dollar Babies and Welcome to My Nightmare, it makes little sense from a rock perspective that Alice is left at home holding his boa.

KING CRIMSON
No, King Crimson was never an album-selling behemoth. They never had an album make it to the top ten, let alone the top twenty, in the U.S. (although Court of the Crimson King made it to #3 in the UK). But King Crimson is as influential as any other band in the Hall of Fame, and particularly those bands who made it on 'influence' alone (Iggy and the Stooges never made it into the top 100, and The Velvet Underground never had an album that placed south of 171). That being said, the effect of King Crimson's innovations -- early contributors or progenitors of progressive rock, jazz/rock fusion, heavy metal, new wave, electronica, acid rock, psychedelia and minimalism -- cannot be overstated. Bands that have cited King Crimson as an influence include Dream Theater, Iron Maiden, Mudvayne, Nirvana, Porcupine Tree, Primus, Rush, Tool and Voivoid. In addition, former band members Greg Lake (Emerson, Lake and Palmer), John Wetton (Asia and UK) and Boz Burrell (Bad Company) carried along certain aspects of King Crimson's sound to their next bands.

JETHRO TULL
Jethro Tull is the only band to have two concept albums hit #1 in the U.S. without any single for radio airplay; as a matter of fact, Thick as a Brick and Passion Play had no discernible separate songs at all, just continuous music on both sides of the records. How's that for free-spirited rebelliousness? Despised by critics (including Jann Wenner and Dave Marsh, who are on the diabolical nominee selection committee) but loved by fans, Tull's eccentric mix of progressive and hard rock, classical music, electronica, jazz, folk and world music, has endeared them to a wide variety of listeners, so much so that they have 14 albums with gold or platinum status (placing them in the top 100 best-selling artists of all time). Songs like Aqualung, Locomotive Breath, Bungle in the Jungle and Living in the Past have been fixtures on rock stations for the last four decades. Oh yes, and they stole a Grammy from Metallica for their album Crest of a Knave. The look of shock on the members of Metallica's faces is alone worth induction into the Hall of Fame.

THE MOODY BLUES
The Moody Blues had albums that reached the top ten in sales in the U.S. in three different decades: Days of Future Passed (1967), A Question of Balance (1970), Every Good Boy Deserves Favour (1971), Seventh Sojourn (1972), Long Distance Voyager (1981) and The Other Side of Life (1986). The album Days of Future Passed was the first pop recording to completely integrate a symphony orchestra within a rock format, a conceptual day in the life of everyman, and the results were stunning. The song Nights in White Satin was rereleased in 1972 and became a #1 hit five years after it originally appeared on Days of Future Passed. Their follow-up album In Search of the Lost Chord is one of the best examples of psychedelia ever recorded, with landmark songs like Ride My See-Saw, Legend of a Mind (to Timothy Leary) and Visions of Paradise.

RUSH
What can one say about a band that continues to sell-out arenas and stadiums over 40 years after they formed in 1968? A band with the best drum solo (Working Man) in rock history (sorry Mr. Moon and Mr. Bonham, you got owned)? Did you know Rush has more consecutive gold and platinum albums than any band in history except The Beatles and the Stones? Were you aware Rush has had gold and platinum albums in the 70's, 80's and 90's? Well, if record sales and sold-out concerts are not criteria for induction, why are Madonna and ABBA in the Hall? If stellar rock albums like Fly By Night, 2112, Hemispheres, Permanent Waves and Moving Pictures (each a platinum album, mind you) do not warrant inclusion, what exactly does?

YES
Eclectic, innovative and musically superb, the band Yes is as apt to go off on extended space jazz riffing as they are to emulate classical composers such as Bach, Grieg and Stravinsky. Superlative recordings like The Yes Album, Fragile and Close to the Edge defined the progressive rock movement in the early 70's and are essential albums in any rock collection. Reformed and retooled in the 1980's, Yes returned to platinum status with the albums 90125 and Big Generator. Much of the work of Yes, particularly the period between 1971-77, makes most other rock bands sound like teenagers practicing basic three chord progressions in their parent's garage. Either that, or it was the Hall of Fame induction ceremony for The Ramones or Blondie.

In conclusion, I have another musical trivia game for you.

Question #4: What do these bands/artists have in common?
Boston
Blue Oyster Cult
Canned Heat
The Cars
Harry Chapin
Chicago
Joe Cocker
Jim Croce
Dick Dale
Deep Purple
Dire Straits
Donovan
The Doobie Brothers
Electric Light Orchestra
Emerson, Lake & Palmer
Fairport Convention
Foghat
J. Geils Band
Peter Gabriel (solo career)
The Guess Who
Ian Hunter (solo career)
Humble Pie
Carole King
KISS
John Mayall and the Bluesbreakers
Jefferson Airplane/Starship
Mott the Hoople
MC5
The Pogues
Procol Harum
Roxy Music
Steppenwolf
Cat Stevens
Rainbow
Red Hot Chili Peppers
Supertramp
T-Rex
Uriah Heep
Stevie Ray Vaughan
Warren Zevon

Answer: They are not The Four Seasons, LaVern Baker, Martha and the Vandellas, Dusty Springfield, Solomon Burke, and Earth, Wind & Fire, none of whom have anything whatsoever to do with rock-and-roll, but who have all been inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, and are thus deemed more important to rock-and-roll than all the rock bands and artists I have listed.

P.S. Send your hate letters to Jann Wenner, Publisher of Rolling Stone Magazine and one of the select few in an evil little cabal who control the nomination process, and thus omit bands and entire music genres (like progressive rock) that they do not care for personally.

P.P.S. On a positive note, The Sex Pistols refused to attend their induction ceremony in 2006. In a hastily scrawled, hand-written letter, they stated the Hall of Fame "is a piss stain", calling the museum itself "urine in wine". Here is the letter:



Rock 'n' Roll is alive and well, but not at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.













P.P.P.S: 11/9/12 Well, it has been over two years since I wrote this first rancorous article regarding the dubious RRHOF, and since then only Alice Cooper has been inducted from the group of worthy performers I offered. I've done a few follow-up articles, the most recent Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Endorses R&B Hall: Half of the Inductees Leave! spells out the hypocrisy of the RRHOF, and settles any debate from muddled revisionists who argued that R&B music has somehow transmogrified into rock music. It is a different genre and has a separate Hall of Fame to recognize extraordinary performers playing and singing that form of music. But it aint rock and roll!